So I remember when I first met my, soon to be, husband. We met, had a couple of dates and then I moved out of state for a while to goto school. He expressed to me how he was really enjoying getting to know me and was wishing I wasnt going to leave. My logical side of the brain told me that there will be no plan-changing over a guy I just met. The emotional side of the brain told me that I should never let a man that likes me escape my attention. So, in attempts to compromise my emotions I gave him my address should he desire to write to me (yes, many years ago. Before internet with email and IMing).
This story may seem like a fairytale with a "happily ever after" at the end, however, not for this couple. 18 yrs later we ended our marriage in court like millions of others. We battled with every dime we had ever saved (which was many) over the kids. Nobody wins in divorce. Not the petitioner, not the respondent and most certainly not the kids. Nor the endless weave of extended family and freinds that you have grown with over the years.
For better or for worse, the story doesnt really end there either. After exhausting all of our financial resources and compiling evidence as to why either of us should or should not have more time parenting the children; and then working hard to be cordial and not show frustration in front of the children as to the outcome of the divorce trial.....something happened that only one could imagine when in the midst of a horrible divorcement: He dies.
Yep, its true. Funny, I never wished for his life to be taken. I do recall wishing for heart attack to bring a sense of humlity or reality to him. I also remember on a particularly bad day wishing for him to just move away and quietly dissapear off into the sunset with his new bride.
Then there I was all of assudden. NOt only a 'single' parent but now an 'only' parent to my 4 beautiful kids who had already been through so much.
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